Want To Buy Her Lingerie? Here’s Everything You Need To Know
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So, you want to buy your woman some sexy lingerie. Good for you! Presents are a wonderful expression of love, and in romantic relationships, lingerie is an ideal gift. You know how they say that experiences can make better gifts than things? Well, with lingerie, you’re giving the gift of many future adventures involving you taking your purchase off your lover. Plus, if you nail it (sorry) she’ll be mega-impressed. You managed to find something that is exactly her size, taste, and makes her feel incredibly sexy while also turning you on? It’s a win-win situation.
Except, hold up. I can sense your fear. You’re wondering how the hell do you manage to check all those boxes rather than accidentally buying her something that she hates and makes her think you wish she had bigger boobs? Fear not, I’ve got you. Read on to learn how to buy the perfect lingerie for your partner.
1. What You Should Be Looking For
Balancing What She Wants And What You Want
When buying a woman lingerie, you want to select something that will make her feel both sexy and comfortable. Follow the basic 101 rules of gift-giving: Give the people what they want, and buy something that they’d love but likely not splurge on themselves. Imagine your girlfriend’s favorite pair of panties. (Are you turned on yet?) Perhaps it’s a cotton floral-printed thong. Perhaps it’s a pair of sexy black lace bikini-style underwear. Is she a pretty-in-pink kind of girl, or a black-leather-and-lace gal? Buying lingerie is all about making her feel good, but you are absolutely allowed to choose something that will also turn you on.
I’m guessing since you’re in a relationship with this person, their personal style, be it pearls or chokers, already turns you on. Being the one to pick out and buy the items just puts you in the driver’s seat, but just make sure it’s something that she would feel sexy in. What’s the point of dishing out money on underwear if it’s she’s never going to wear it on a date night? This is about her. If you want to level-up what she already likes, an easy way to do that is go for a bra and panties matching set. If her favorite pair of underwear is a floral cotton thong, opt for a matching set that are also floral, but slightly more upscale than what she owns, and in a new pattern, for instance.
Different Types Of Lingerie
Women can be particular about their undergarments, and for good reason: ill-fitting lingerie is very uncomfortable, and uncomfortable isn’t sexy. Take, for example, underwire (the wire that runs along the cups of bras). Depending on how bountiful your partner’s breasts are, she might require underwear, or she may loathe it. Bralettes have become more and more popular, which are very comfy underwire-free bras. They are especially wonderful for the hot summer months. If you want to gift her a bra, don’t overthink this. Just stick with what she already wears. If all her bras contain underwire, go with a bra with underwire.
Here’s a top-secret trick to buying a woman lingerie if you have no idea what she’d like: go with a luxurious bathrobe, night gown, or chemise (a short nightgown, basically). You can’t go wrong with the bathrobe, though. They’re one of those things that everyone enjoys, but may feel like an unnecessary item and thus not buy one for themselves. They’re useful, ideal for wearing while first waking up and making coffee, or to lounge around in after hot sex. Remember, robes are also sexy. Women can wear them over their lingerie — or nothing — and gracefully slip off the robe in front of you. They also fit all body types and are available in every color, pattern, and fabric you can imagine. Therefore, there’s a robe for both women who love cotton and floral underwear and those who prefer complicated, black lace underwear with lots of confusing straps.
If you’re seeing someone who prefers the latter style, admitting, you have more options because you can get kinky. Some people don’t mind undergarments that may appear pointless (like a harness, say) or uncomfortable (a black leather bra) because it makes them feel powerful. As a woman, there is indeed something extremely satisfying of knowing that what you’re wearing underneath your clothes, even if no one can see them, is hot AF.
When To Buy And How Much To Spend
If you’re still wondering when it’s appropriate in a relationship to give lingerie, there’s no hard and fast rule. However, if you’re exclusive, have been seeing one another for at least six months, I say go ahead and buy lingerie. If you’re both openly seeing other people, but the relationship is mutually based on sex, however, lingerie is perfect too. And if you’re married, you’d better be buying her lingerie! You know your partner better than I do, but I think lingerie works wonderfully for a present for any occasion, but as noted, holidays focused on your relationship or love and sex (like your anniversary and Valentine’s Day) are usually the best time for such gifts.
One more thing: When it comes to budget, think quality over quantity. If you have less than $50 to spend, that’s totally fine. Simply buy her one very nice pair of panties, rather than opting for a poorly made bra and panty set complete with a garter belt and thigh-high stockings that are guaranteed to fall apart in the wash (although lingerie is usually hand-washed) and feel uncomfortable to wear.
2. What You Should Avoid
I’m not going to lie to you. There are indeed valid reasons to be terrified of picking out lingerie for your significant other as a gift. We’re talking about sex and sizing, after all. So, I’m going to be brutally honest and perhaps a little non-PC because I care about you. Even if your girlfriend or wife has specifically said that she wants something like Spanx, which is an excellent brand that often comes with control tops to tighten tummies, stay away! Same goes for push-up bras, unless your girlfriend pretty much only wears bras with padding and you’re certain she likes them.
Many women, including myself, feel powerful by enhancing our boobs with the power of padding and love the extra cleavage they provide. Other women hate them, and find them uncomfortable, and would prefer something more comfortable. If this is the case in your relationship, stay away from padded bras or else she might think you’re trying to suggest you wish she had bigger boobs. Body insecurity, for everyone, is very real. For the love of god, do not buy those chicken cutlets that can be stuck in bras to make breasts appear bigger. I probably didn’t need to tell you that, but you can never be too sure.
When shopping for lingerie, just like you would with jewelry, keep it classy. Unless your partner only wears cotton underwear and has very strong feelings about this (it is great for vagina health) go with a sexier fabric like lace or satin instead of cotton. Do not buy her any sort of underwear as a gift that looks like one day it could end up becoming her pair of period panties (you know what I’m talking about). This may be a personal preference, but I’m not a fan of giving multi-packs as gifts. It just seems a bit lazy. It’s better to buy her one luxurious pair of panties than a three-pack of her favorite underwear because you think “she could always use more!”
Gifts are all about making people feel special and selecting items that they’d love but perhaps not splurge on themselves. Don’t be cheap with lingerie. Not only does cheap lingerie fall apart and is probably made by child labor, but it’s usually uncomfortable. If it’s cheap and uncomfortable, she won’t even want to hear it. If you’re on a budget rather than buy a full bra and panty set, stick with just one sexy thong, and up the ante with flowers or a home-cooked meal and tons of oral sex (on her).
3. How To Buy Her Lingerie Online
Two requirements apply when shopping online: think about her style, and learn her size. Also, stick with a reputable store, and make sure to save the gift receipt just in case of the worst-case scenario that what you ordered doesn’t fit her — although you should double-check return policies when it comes to underwear. When buying online, since sizing can vary for brands and you won’t have a saleswoman to help you, while peeking at her undies (you’re allowed to be a perv for the sake of romantic gift-giving!) notice what brands she prefers. Perhaps she’s a La Perla girl (fancy!), or maybe you’ll notice she wears a lot of Hanky Panky, which is known for being sexy yet super comfy.
When you first open your browser to a site such as the lingerie section of Nordstroms.com, the options may overwhelm you. Thankfully, they have all those handy check boxes on the side that allow you to filter by size, color, and garment type. Then simply enjoy looking at beautiful models in lingerie as you scroll through the pages envisioning what you can best see your partner wearing. Make it into a sexy game and go with the one that you can best envision her in, and you taking off.
If you have a female friend that you trust and knows your girlfriend, I promise that you’re not doing anything wrong by asking her for advice. Please feel free to email her a few options and ask her opinion, she won’t think you’re a creep for asking, “Hey, it’s Sally and I’s six-month anniversary coming up, I want to buy her lingerie, but I’m an idiot, please help. Which of these do you think she’ll like?” Once a former partner of mine picked me out a nightgown that I adored, I had no idea how he did it. Finally, he fessed up that he asked a mutual female friend for help, and I certainly wasn’t jealous, I was thankful! Even though we broke up, I still wear the nightie all the time because it’s comfy yet sexy and in colors that I love. Speaking of nighties, especially when shopping online, remember that if you want to play it safe sizing-wise, go for a nightgown, chemise, or silk robe.
4. Top Lingerie To Buy Her
Flora Nikrooz Showstopper Chemise
Available in ivory, champagne, black, and aqua, this chemise by Flora Nikrooz is best for a woman who is always stealing your over-sized t-shirts to sleep in. By the way, women do that, because it feels secure and snuggly to sleep in something, but it’s nice to have your vagina unrestricted. The color and size variety make this nightie an excellent choice for all body sizes and style preferences.
$112.00 at Nordstrom.com
DKNY ‘Urban Essentials’ Long Robe
Remember what I said about robes? You can’t go wrong with them. This long soft knit robe by the trusted brand DKNY is best for any woman. She can wear it while lounging on the couch eating Cheetos as 30 Rock reruns play, or as part of a strip-tease for you on date night. Buy this if you have no idea what to get or want to play it safe; you can’t go wrong.
$88.00 at Nordstrom.com
Natori “Sangri-La” Robe
You just made love, and as your partner gets up for a glass of water, she puts on her cozy robe that reminds her of you. Everyone, in my opinion, deserves a classic and comfy bathrobe. And this long black soft robe from Natori checks every box for what makes the best bathrobe. Worn over lingerie, it’s sexy. Worn over pajamas, it’s just the ticket for a Netflix and chill night in. You can’t go wrong with a high-quality black bathrobe (you might even want one for yourself).
$98.00 at Nordstrom.com
B.Tempt’d by Wacoal b.sultry Chemise
A chemise is the perfect lingerie gift. Why? Because every woman adores the idea of sleeping in something soft and beautiful, yet it’s typically not something we’d buy for ourselves. This chemise from Wacoal is fit for a goddess and nearly as sexy as sleeping in the nude.
$45.00 at Nordstrom.com
Bijoux Indiscrets Maze-H Harness
This faux leather harness can be worn over a bra, in lieu of a bra to allow for nipples to peak through a t-shirt, or even over a dress to add a fetish flair to a summer staple outfit. Created by the kinky and classy Bijoux Indiscrets, this is best for the woman who loves fashion, enjoys BDSM, and bugs you to accompany her to sex parties.
$65.00 at Nordstrom.com
Top Shop Rara Frill Triangle Bra
The ruffled bra from Top Shop is the perfect amount of sweet and spice. The frills give the bra a dash of innocence, especially the version that comes in pink. If your woman is more spicy than sweet, opt for the red, but you can still both enjoy the sexy soft fabric. Bralettes, which are basically bras without underwear, and more adjustable, are always a good idea for a gift when you want to buy a bra but aren’t sure of their exact size, as they’re more adjustable than their underwire counterparts. Snag the matching panties here.
$25.00 at Nordstrom.com
In Bloom by Jonquil Lace Chemise & Panties
This flapper-inspired chemise and panty set is best for the vintage babe. She loves black and white films, dirty martinis, and still sneaks a cigarette from time to time. She’ll suggest going to see burlesque for a date idea.
$68.00 at Nordstrom.com
Honeydew Intimates Nichole Open Gusset Lace Hipster Briefs
Giving your girl this pair of panties will impress her on many levels (and we bet you’ll enjoy them as well). To begin, the black lacy straps are the definition of sexy. Just imagine your girlfriend or wife wearing these under a dress out to date night. Plus, since Honeydew makes them, they’re comfortable. It’s easy to find highly erotic black underwear, and it’s easy to find comfortable underwear, but finding a pair that does both is a challenge. You’ll score major points by gifting these. .
$18.00 at Nordstrom.com
Oroblu ‘Bas Tricot’ Fishnet Stay-Up Stockings
These fishnet stay-up stockings will teach you a cool secret trick about lingerie: the more modern version of the classic garter belt, thigh-high stockings such as this create the same sexy space between the top of her thighs and underwear yet are without complicated straps that garter belts required. These are best for the woman who is impeccably put together and on the edgier side. She loves sexy stockings and her underwear and bra always match. Stockings tear easy, so she can never have enough pairs. And at only $25, it’s okay if you two “accidentally” add a new tear into these when the celebration turns from gift giving to love making.
$25.00 at Nordstrom.com
Calvin Klein ‘Modern Cotton Collection’ Cotton Blend Racerback Bralette
Created by the one and only Calvin Klein, this cotton racerback is best for the athletic woman. She’s in top-notch shape and could probably kick your ass. Calvin Klein’s underwear is famous for a reason. His designs are undeniably sexy. Made with cotton, they’re also extremely comfortable. They’re also hot as hell. Your partner can wear this as a regular bra or as a sports bra to work out in. Imagine the hot and sweaty sex you can have when she gets home from kickboxing class and peels it off.
$28.00 at Nordstrom.com
Hanky Panky ‘Signature Lace’ Open Gusset Teddy
Yes, this teddy, a one-piece garment that can be worn to sleep in, under an outfit, or simply for sexual reasons, is basically crotchless panties. The recipient of the gift can keep them on while you make love, which is an easy and super sexy way to spice up your sex life. Unlike crotchless panties found in sketchy sex shops, this number, created by Hanky Panky, which is an intimates brand famous for comfort. This one is best for the woman who doesn’t care about farting in front of you yet also taught you about things you didn’t know existed in bed.
$78.00 at Nordstrom.com
5. How To Buy Her Lingerie In Stores
Buying lingerie in real life is a daunting task, but the results are well-worth it if you can overcome your fear. Saleswomen at lingerie shops and department stores are trained to help you pick something out and do the job for you. If you can afford it, go to a nice lingerie shop or a department store. Before you enter, put some thought into the type of woman you’re dating, and enjoy running through your mind the underwear you’ve already seen her in. Does she love sexy nighties, or prefer to sleep in the nude? Does she love thongs, or does she typically wear bikinis or boy shorts and has mentioned that she finds thongs uncomfortable? Is she more interested in comfort, cotton, and pastel and flirty floral prints, or is she a black lace and leather type of person?
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Be ready to tell the saleswoman (who will be very kind and excited to help you) this information. Say something such as, “I’ve noticed she doesn’t really wear thongs, but she does love push-up bras, and her go-to is black, so her panties and bra usually match.” They’ll need one more piece of information: her sizes. You could try and awkwardly describe your girlfriend’s body shape, but the simplest solution is just to peek into her underwear drawer and make a note of her panty and bra size. A quick description of your partner’s preference followed by sizing info will allow the saleswoman to present you with an array of options to choose from. From there, you can just pick out what you like best (and what you think she’ll like best, as, after all, this is a gift for her).
6. Why It’s A Romantic Gesture
I understand that there may be a part of you that feels a little dirty or maybe even sleazy buying lingerie, but trust me; it’s romantic. I’m not saying to start bringing a pair of crotchless panties in lieu of flowers on the third date, but let’s act like adults and get over any lingering shame around sex. If you’re dating someone, and are sleeping together, and share emotional intimacy, lingerie is ultra-romantic, especially for Valentine’s Day and anniversaries. Women, like all humans, want to feel desired. Presenting a box tied with a red bow (have the lingerie professionally gift wrapped, which is always an option from reputable online retailers and at most lingerie shops and department stores) containing a sexy black negligée will show her that you want her. It will also demonstrate that you desire her and think of her as a sex goddess. It feels good to be desired. In a new relationship, buying lingerie is a fabulous way to impress her with your taste, and in a long-term one, it’s a great way to keep your sex life alive. Buying lingerie implies that you want to make love to her ASAP.
Plus, women are smart. We understand how daunting buying lingerie is for men. You’ll get bonus points for bravery, and will be asked the question: “How the hell did you manage to pick this out?” If you’re still feeling at all self-conscious about giving lingerie, come prepared with a bouquet of a dozen long-stem red roses and trust me when I say you’ll have gone above and beyond on the romance scale.
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